What we talk about when we talk about happiness - Chapter 2

If one were to critically look at each of one’s goals (having a successful career, having enough money, being in satisfying relationships, being healthy) and ask why does one want to attain them the simple answer would be to ‘be happy.’ Why do I want a job? Because I want to make money. Why do I want to make money? Because I want to live in comfort. Why do I want to live in comfort? Because I want to be happy. So, in a way, through all of our pursuits what are truly seeking is happiness.

The human pursuit of happiness is essentially seeking happiness from the external world (from objects, people or situations). We travel to newer places, buy cars or houses, get in and out of relationships in the hope of attaining happiness but we soon discover that the happiness is not a certainty and even when it is it is short-lived. We find ourselves stuck in a perpetual cycle of short-lived happiness generated by attainment of an object, anxiety about retaining the object and sadness brought about by losing the object or the happiness associated with it.

The feeling of happiness involves ‘I’ the subject of happiness and the object of happiness is the external world (objects, people and situations). For happiness to be inherent in an entity of the external world it will have to be the nature of that entity just as sweetness is the nature of sugar. If a car or music or a book had happiness as its nature it would give happiness to everyone and at all times just as anyone anywhere in the world would be able to appreciate the sweetness of sugar irrespective of when or how many times he consumes it. Now that clearly does not seem to be the case because no entity of the external world gives universal happiness and therefore it is likely that happiness is the nature of the subject ‘I’.

The desire for happiness is something that we are born with and even if one were to try very hard one would not be able to give up on this desire and be comfortable remaining unhappy. The pursuit of happiness although fraught with a lot of pain is one that cannot be given up because it is inherent to who we are. Understanding ones need for happiness and managing it well is one of the ends of a spiritual pursuit.